It’s a small comfort to know that if you end up venturing into a date that’s a total waste of time, a hilarious mismatch, or ends horrifically, you’ll automatically be the most interesting person at brunch the next weekend.And to let you know that you’re not alone out there, here are a few terrible (read: entertaining as hell) tales from some real women who spilled the gory details of funniest and weirdest first dates.Last week, I was honored to have been selected to speak at the Ignite San Diego event. GREAT question, and honestly, I had never even heard of these types of events before, but someone on twitter suggested I apply to present, so I looked more into it. So here’s the thing, Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching at the inevitable speed of one second per second, with every second that passes by. Okay, I’m just going to admit it, and come out and say it. In fact with every word and sentence you read, means the day of hallmark styled coerced love is closer and closer. The first thing you read in the post was a bold face lie. Well, by “illustrate” I mean slap together some stock graphics in photoshop or make crappy memes about your story. Where to begin, where to begin…is either going to be one of the smartest things I’ve ever written, or a couple hundred words of pure word vomit that everyone hates. Several years ago I was returning from a road trip and spending a few days with a friend and his family.He was showing me around his hometown and took me to his favorite hotdog joint Hank’s Franks, insisting that we indulge in his usual 3 or 4 (or more) hotdogs per person.He was a happy generous old man who immediately slipped each of us a fifty dollar bill just for stopping in to say hello.
It was super embarrassing but I made myself stick it out with a smile until the date ended.” –Cassie, 29, Boston “I was on a date with a handsome guy and it was going well until he started getting very handsy and I think maybe even tried to slip something in my drink—though this detail is a bit unclear in my memory—but needless to say, his behavior made me uncomfortable.I don’t actually know “How to Write the Perfect First Message”, and since I’m being honest, the title of this post is mostly for SEO reasons. I want to hear your horrible, awful, funny, ridiculous dating stories. I guess I’ll start off by saying this blog isn’t going to be as biased as you may think. It’s crazy, I thought I’d be writing this blog from a moon base, while my space kids play outside on their i Phone 7s. They were good hotdogs and I had no trouble getting them down.Our next stop on the town took us to his grandfather’s office building to share our extra hotdogs and hang out with the old guy.