We sat down with noted parenting consultant and e Harmony Parenting contributor Dr.
Tina Payne Bryson to discuss strategies to help single parents successfully navigate getting back into the dating world.
Here are three common "fouls" and how to re-play them and win! There will be a time when you get to know each other enough that you will be able to share details about your children's lives, but for now keep the conversation about you: Your hopes, dreams, books you are reading, dream vacations, best meals, what you did on your 16th birthday..topics are limitless and so are the opportunities to get to really know one another.And anything you do for yourself feels like it takes away from their world. If we don’t give ourselves experiences that refuel us, adult activities that make us happy, it will be much harder to do the good work of parenting.What effect do outside activities like dating actually have on children in Single Parent homes? Bryson: When you add up all of the factors that determine whether your child is going to be happy and mentally healthy as an adult, the most important question to ask is, "Have they had a secure attachment with a loving caregiver who perceives and meets their needs a majority of the time? The concern that most parents should have is, "Am I taking care of myself enough to respond to those needs in a positive way? Ironically, we probably SHOULD feel guilty when we stop tending to our own needs. What if your children express a negative reaction to your interest and participation in meeting new people? Bryson: The first thing is to authentically and honestly talk with your child, and you can even do this with very young children in an age-appropriate way. "Mom’s going to spend time with friends, because it’s good for me.You are a vibrant, energetically alive adult who deserves to have a social life.To help make the transition from mommy or daddy to date, lover, boyfriend or girlfriend, stop thinking of yourself as just a parent, and start thinking of yourself as an attractive, devastatingly sexy single.